Talk about a Coincidence!

test. You’re not going to believe this, but April 14th is the Yacht Club’s 25-year anniversary! Wait! That’s not even the part you’re not going to believe. April 14th is also the 100-year anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic! OMG!

Not surprisingly, my fantasy-schedule for the Yacht Club’s 25-year anniversary-week missed the bull’s eye, but I was right that there’s going to be a week-long extravaganza! Here is the latest update on the activities you can expect that week. Print it up, clip it out, and tape it to your fridge.

Yacht Club 25-Year Anniversary
Birthday-Week Activities

Monday, April 9th – Yacht Club Trivia – Robert Holland spices up his already brain-melting questions with plenty of Yacht Club-related history, legend and gossip.*

Tuesday, April 10th – Toss-up Tournament & Abominable Blitz – Win free, tasty beverages by playing Toss-Up** with your Bartender until it gets dark, because as the sun sets the music begins! L5P’s very own Marching Abominables. Fifteen years ago they really were abominable. Now they’re excellent, playing everything from Tequila to Margaritaville.

Wednesday, April 11th – Wasted Potential – New Orleans “Second Line Band”***, a down and dirty horn section, will show us why everyone gets happy when the dead come home in the Big Easy. Party like the pros down in New Orleans, starting directly the sun sets.

Thursday, April 12th – Whoa Nelly! – The Yacht Club’s official “house band”, Whoa Nelly, will be playing bluegrass while Hippy goes all out on the BBQ! Banjos, Dobros, Fiddles, foot-stomping, blood letting, and everything you need for a balls-to-the-wall hoedown! Bring yer clogs or at least yer toughest boots, on account of our floor pushes back. Music starts at 9:00PM.

Friday, April 13th – Gino’s Lucky Yacht Club Bingo – Prizes range from a pint of PBR draft to 20 lashes with a wet bar towel. ‘Nuff said.
[ neither the Yacht club or the editor of this web site endorses the above link - ed.] 

Saturday, April 14th – THE MAIN EVENT – All hands on deck for the actual, genuine, indisputable day which celebrates the 25 year anniversary of the Yacht Club. Why, we even remember what time, down to the second, that we threw the doors open on April 14th , 1987.
TODAY the music starts at exactly 3:00PM (hint, hint).
The Bands in Order of Appearance:
1) Gun Party
2) L5P Rockstar Orchestra
3) American Anodyne
4) Young Antiques
5) Walk from the Gallows
6) Jayne County

As you can see it is shaping up. Hell, we should know exactly what’s going on by the time it’s over! Probably there will be special foods and drinks, but that still remains in the realm of Gino fantasy for now. I shall continue driving the dream into existence!

To many people, myself included, the Yacht Club is much more than a bar; it is, among many other things, a nexus of information. Although mostly known for the exhaustive archiving of cutting-edge science, such as robotics, artificial intelligence, and nanotechnology, we have also accumulated a smorgasbord of information about Obama’s controversial health-care legislation since 2009. We are now, thanks to a generous donation from Crazy Vicky, able to build a second wing onto the Terry Williams Memorial Mobile Science Facility, currently located at The Yacht Club at 1136 Euclid Ave. As you already know, the first wing was completed in January, and is dedicated solely to the anticipated negative-advertising campaigns, which will ensue when the Republicans finally decide on who they will run against President Obama. Called The Political Psychology wing, this section of the science facility studies the effects of the Supreme Court’s decision to allow Super-PAC sponsorship of the presidential candidates.

Speaking of the Supreme Court. . . .

The new wing also seeks to collect information from various different sources, and concentrates on health care and how it has come to be perceived by many as different from other commodities such as cable television and automobiles. Starting on Monday, April 2nd, the new wing will be opened to the public, and it’s contents available for perusal. As yet we have not worked out a feasible system for items to be “checked out”, but, due to many passionate requests, we are moving towards making that a possibility by mid-July, 2012.

Most discussed subject in March

Death is a gray area

I know it’s an uncomfortable thought, but dadgummit, it’s true. Death has become a continuum. There is no criteria you can use and conclusively declare that someone’s either dead or alive. We missed the whole “You’re dead when your heart stops beating”, phase and were born at the dawn of brain death. Also, our births coincide with the popularization of organ transplants, the most controversial slippery slope since abortion. Sheesh, and this is a bar!

First, decide that whatever it says is correct (since it was divinely inspired, like the Koran,) then formulate your arguments.
Well, good news for constitutional purists, bad news for me. Looks like health care reform is dead and I’m not far behind it. Went from not being able to get health insurance to having to have health insurance, and now back to not being able to get health insurance. Oh well, at least I can buy as many guns as I want since it is my divinely inspired constitutional right. Now, back to worshipping the Constitution. Where was I, facing Philadelphia?

New Beer!
Jailbreak IPA

*Robert publicly poo poos your knowledge of Yacht Club History. That’s right, Peggy, Roy, Karen,McNamara, Ross, Variety Dave, Bill Harrison, Nambla Bill, Scott, Coyote Dave, Tommy, Marty the Plumber, Allen Hudson, Debra “the” Valet, J.B. & Lisa, Amy C., Eric K., Eric M., and Eric & Julia, Babbs, Tall Steve & Missy, Reid & Barbara, Guatemala Mark, Larry and El Lenore, Doug, Randall Bailey, Norman Narmore, CNN Steve “Priest” Grady, The rest of the Grady Bunch (I’m illstay orkingway on atthay 1 day uspensionsay of atthay upidstay arringbay.)

**Apparently, you flip a coin and if it’s heads your drink is half price and if it’s tails it’s full price. However, by the time we get done with modifications and stipulations it will be more incomprehensible than Obama’s health care plan.

***Second Lining has been called the quintessential New Orleans art form – “A jazz funeral without a body!” It is a tradition in brass band parades In New Orleans. Just to make a distinction, the first line is the main section of the parade, the actual club with the parading permit. Those who follow are called the “second line”. Because there’s no corpse, there are also no slow hymns or dirges. YAY!