I Rarely Say This to People Who Aren’t Me

The truth is very important. You should never get it mixed up with anything else while using it like clay to mold the world into a better place. And it’s tough to talk about without sounding preachy because everyone has a philosophy regarding the truth that lies along a continuum. Mostly people don’t think about it, and they sure don’t try to articulate it, which is almost certainly a good thing. When asked, most people (not having given it much thought) have a pat answer ready about the truth’s importance, and that is fine as far as it goes. However, I have encountered a passel of people over the last decade and a half who have a burning desire to explore the plethora of philosophies pertaining to the truth which is why I have teamed up with Father Guido Sarducci, the founder of Hugh’s Diocese in Paradise, to offer a comprehensive course in the Philosophy of Truth. Continue reading

TEBOW & GOLIATH

Well, it’s January 10th as I start to write this so I guess I should realistically call it St. Patrick’s Day. Who knows though? Maybe I’ll surprise you and write something timely! Maybe I’ll surprise myself!

Than Again, Maybe I Won’t That is the title of the only Judy Blume book I ever read, circa 1977, in which a young man is embarrassed about his first erections.

Anyway, today is January 11th, 2012. A day of infamy! A date that might seem vaguely familiar to a couple people in that vast Yacht Club Cyber World (YCCW), which I have never seen (hint, hint.) Continue reading

WHY I HAVE DECIDED TO ESCAPE INTO A FANTASY WORLD (Or, We climbed so high we never want to die)

Ha ha! When the sun came blazing out at 10am on Thursday, December 1st, I realized, after an extensive search, that I didn’t own Steppenwolf’s Born to be Wild! Sheesh!

Trying to pick things to be thankful for at this time of year is so corny and cliché, but it’s also practically irresistible. This year I am going to express thanks to my co-worker Shane Greene for helping me see the light about Springer and other such television shows. Almost invariably when he turns it on in the Yacht Club at 5pm on Thursdays there is a little groan that runs along the handful of patrons at the bar, but it is, by God, accompanied by an indisputable settling in, a scooching of buttocks for maximum comfort on wooden stools, an adjusting of eye glasses, and, most astonishingly, a call for fresh drinks to eliminate the possibility of running dry before the show ends and possibly missing some crucial absurdity. Continue reading

Short Story (In which the characters are all real people!)

Don’t misuse your talents, or God knows in how many lifetimes you’ll be paying for it!

While trying to remember how to use a word processor, after an inadvertent writing hiatus, complicated by technical difficulties, sloth, baseball, and excessive peristaltic activity, I, Gino accidentally wrote the following very short story about people who work and play in the Yacht Club. And it goes like this . . . 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. . . . Continue reading